The New Starting Point
I’m Ronald, a 50-year-old father navigating the labyrinth of life’s ups and downs with my two young children, aged 8 and 9. The past decade has been tumultuous for me; I lost my marriage, my health deteriorated, and I’ve been grappling with job insecurity, with the possibility of losing my house looming over me.
The myriad roles I juggled – husband, father, caregiver, employee, colleague, and friend – became overwhelming, and my health began to suffer as a result. This post delves into the start of a new chapter in my life, one full of challenges and opportunities to carve out a path towards a more balanced and fulfilling existence.
The New Chapter
After my ex-wife moved to her new home, I found myself in a quieter space during the day, with my sons staying with me in the evenings and every other weekend to myself. This seemed like an ideal setup to focus on self-improvement and much-needed rest.
With the silence came the realization of chaos in my physical environment, prompting me to reorganize and reclaim my living space. I began with the living room, transforming it into a reflection of myself. However, the tasks of daily life suddenly felt daunting.
Facing the Struggles
Creating detailed to-do lists became crucial, aiming to enhance my life and prioritize my health. Despite participating in a mobility program to find work, my days felt disorganized, and my mental state mirrored the physical chaos I was trying to mitigate. I struggled with physical pain, anxiety, and fatigue, increasingly frustrated by my inability to follow through on my tasks or focus on self-improvement.
Seeking Help
Desperate for change, I reached out to my best friend, who suggested a mental health assessment. However, the six-month waiting list was daunting. Determined to act, I turned to the mental health services connected to my employer and met with a psychologist. Her advice to reduce coffee intake, use a structured calendar, and meditate seemed promising.
🧘♂️ Meditation app Calm for 30 day free trial: https://www.calm.com/gp/X6PN8R4E4X3KWLJH4E
Implementing Change
I embraced these strategies wholeheartedly, filling my calendar with structured time blocks and substituting tea for coffee. An app called Calm became a companion for my meditation practice, and I endeavored to follow through with high hopes.
Overcoming Setbacks
However, the initial enthusiasm waned, and I struggled to maintain the routine. It led to a breakdown, and in a moment of despair, I wiped the calendar clean. It was during this low point that I discovered a video by Ali Abdaal, which inspired me to reevaluate my approach and try again.
📹 Ali Abdaal video about the Ideal Calendar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o2tm00Ar8A&t=443s
Looking Forward
In the upcoming segments of this blog series, I will reflect on my journey, sharing insights into what worked, the mistakes made, and the lessons learned across the various facets of my life. My hope is that you, too, might find value in these reflections.
I invite you to share your own experiences and challenges, whether in the comments for community support or privately via email at ronald@ronaldverlaan.com. Together, we can build a community striving for a balanced and fulfilling life.
Thank you for reading, and goodbye for now.
Warm regards,
Ronald